I May Not Be Queen Elizabeth

from MY point of view..

2012-01-18T22:15:00.000-08:00

ok so this is a little random but things have been weighing heavy on my mind lately.. the farther i get from being sick the more i start to forget..which seems like it should be a positive but I have never been so grateful and optimistic as i was when i was sick.and told myself i would NEVER be superficial and have a bad day over petty things.. yet i catch myself more and more being negative over silly things.. so i decided i want to write my "cancer story" from my point of view mostly so i never EVER forget.. not to mention some of it is humorous..

So anyone who knows me knows i DEPISE the doctor.. The only thing i had ever been to the ER for in my life was in the 2nd grade for stitches. It was bad experience to say the least.. so I was COMPLETLEY needle phobic.. yes i did pass out when i got my ears pierced at age 13.. ha! So when i was having back pain i played it down all the time hoping it was a mind over matter type of deal.. so i would go to work pop my tylenol and go on with the day but each day the pain got worse and worse.. So one night I was with my friends Chris and Robert watching a movie and it was UNBEARABLE!! Usually when i was laying flat the pain would subside but it was not letting up! I had already gone to the minute clinic at CVS (you bet i did my research before had and made sure they couldnt take blood or give shots) and the nurse there told me everything looks good.. Chris insisted on taking me straight to the ER but instead i had them drive me home and told them i was going to wake up my parents and have them take me..(um ya right are you kidding? now i will have to get bloodwork AND an IV!!!) so i went up to bed took some tylenol and literally laid and bed and cried.. My sister overheard and went to wake up my mom.. my dad practically had to carry me to the car.. (at the point i dont really care what is wrong i just dont want an IV!!) (if only i knew the best was yet to come!(; haha) so we get to the ER I remember constantly asking my mom if she thought they would do blood tests? (i had to be wheelchaired in and all i can still think about are those darn needles!!) finally they get me in and hook me up to an IV.. ok finally i am in so much pain i literally couldnt even care.. instantly my pain was G O N E! They told me they were going to do blood work at ultra sounds and whatever else.. so anyway they came to the conclusion it was a cyst.. ok great we can just take a pill for that or something right?? WRRRONNNGGG. I was scheduled for surgery the following morning.. I was absolutely freaked. I didnt even want to know what the doctor was doing.. turns out they have to tell you. so they were going in endscopically(sp?) to remove the cyst.. just 3 TINY incisions on my tummy but i would be put under.. I was so freaked i still remember waiting in the pre op room and i couldnt even talk.. next thing i know i am waking up.. HALLELUJIAH i survived.. I open my eyes and my parents are crying uncontrollably.. when i asked what wrong?!? my amazing dad was able to let me know i had cancer.. i dont remember what happened after that honestly.. maybe i was in shock? my mind was protecting me?? next thing I know i am back in pre op in North Scottsdale with my family my uncle and my grandparents and my pre op nurse.. finally the doctor came in to tell me he was going to just cut down the middle of my stomach there was no other way . So i once again was wheeled back but this time to get an epideral..a WHAT?! HECK NO! thats what you get when you have babies and i already decided i wont have babies cause no way would i ever get an epideral!! they promised me i wouldnt feel it(dont they always) I begged the nurse to just wait til i was out to give it to me and she said that wasnt an option.. um ok ok i didnt feel a thing and thats the last thing i remember.. I still remember being in my bed with jessica and her parents were there visiting and the dr came to see me.. I asked if the chemo would make me lose my hair.. he said yes. I cried uncontrollably! (DOES HE KNOW IVE BEEN GROWING THIS OUT SINCE I WAS LIKE 15!!) and from that day on i would never even look at dr.janicek... Then there was Pam..I honestly would have not survived without her. Pam was made me to be a nurse. She is just perfect. She knows how to make you laugh and could always get me up to make a loop around the 2nd floor which was my LEAST favorite thing to do.She tried on wigs that were sent to me to try on and she put them on and we walked around the 2nd floor.Anytime i was admitted i always BEGGED for my pam! so by this time i am over my needle phobia. I get my blood drawn every morning. I have the most awful food served to me and I refuse to turn on the TV.. yes people I was probably in the hospital for over a month total and that tv was not turned on ONCE.. note to Scottsdale healthcare.. please put the speakers on the actual tv no the remote or my bed.. its too loud.. (: So I get to go home and have to go to Dr.Janiceks Office to learn about my chemo (all i can think at this point is i already know i lose my hair so thats all i needed to hear) so we went.. i remember being in pain the entire time.. but I got to talk to Nicole a cancer survivor.. she looked so healthy and so happy. I felt like i had hope.. So that was right before christmas ish? i think?? ok so I dont remember anything from christmas i dont remember going back to the hospital..I do remember waking up in ICU.. I had a breathing tube and could not talk.. I wanted to see my parents (they were told to go home the night before because they stayed with me EVERY night)well they werent there yet and i panicked I thought they were holding me somewhere sketchy.It was like a nightmare! So then i wake up later in what i think is a disney princess room? hahaha seriously drugs are crazy. then i remember waking up in my normal room.. and seeing my colostomy and asking my nurse what that was? As she explained it to me i wanted to give up. are you kidding me?! there is no way i can do this!! So then i vaguely remember having random visitors and i remember craving mashed potatoes from Outback Steakhouse? haha i dont know.. but i got them. probably took a bite..thats all i cleary remember from shea.. i know there is TONS more and i had some amazing nurses that took awesome care of me.. ok then jump to my birthday.. thats the next thing i remember bits and pieces of.. I had chemo all day (which i dont remember) and Dr.Janiceks team got me a cake and balloons.. jessica came over the pickrons came to see me and brought me balloons. I always hated having visitors because i felt like i could not entertain them. haha!! so I got frustrated easily.. I could hardly walk by myself. I never ate anything. I weighed about 92lbs..My dad would take me to chemo every morning..I cant even express what an awesome dad i have. He is literally the most caring hardworking person i know. He would always remind me of the light at the end of the tunnel.. and make me laugh by joking that my dr drove the junker car in the parking lot. (: so he would always get me a water and a snack and fully charged phone for chemo. i would sleep.. the ENTIRE time.. and get mad if i didnt. so i would go home from chemo at the end of the day and my parents would get me anything i wanted to eat just to get me to eat something!! so my dad left nutterbutters on the nightstand just incase(: I would watch Hannah Montana and Good Luck Charlie ALL night. and Wizards of Waverly Place.. seriously when you are that sick cheesy movies and shows are the way to go.. so then i would wake up and do it all over again..I started getting an itch to go outside so my dad would try to get me to go on a walk to get some fresh air.. i could barely make down 3 or 4 houses!! I was so weak. So my dad loaned a wheelchair and would take me out every night to get some fresh air and just remind me its all happening for a reason..My dad has a heart of gold! So then complications came from chemo.. my home nurse would always say DRINK DRINK DRINK as she walked out the door. she wasnt joking.. I would get SO dehydrated i would get physically ill and end up in the ER then ICU get Hydrated. I started getting scared of leaving the hospital because i felt safe there and that i couldnt get too sick again. I slept so much not even cause i was tired I just had no energy to do ANYTHING. I was so jealous of "normal life" and never wanted to take a day for granted. I wanted to be able to walk around alone work work out eat and feel good! And i told myself i would never take a day for granted..SO i hope i NEVER forget<3

sorry if you are reading this like ?? but i mostly wanted it for myself.. just SOME key parts i remember.

a little of this&that.

2011-11-29T11:15:00.000-08:00

I can't believe how quickly time flies! Everything is finally starting to feel like a dream!! I never thought that day would come I still remember when I met Nicole (a cancer survivor who was diagnosed with my same cancer at the age of 12!!). She came and saw me right after my first surgery when i went to my Doctors office to learn about the Chemo and she was so healthy and happy and she kept reassuring me that one day this would be a distant memory.. at the time i thought she was out of her mind but she was totally right! Unfortunately i am constantly catching myself getting wrapped up in selfish dumb things like i used to and reminding myself that the silly little things we get stressy and upset over don't even matter 75% of the time..Other than that i am loving life!! I am now a full time employee at DryBar in the Scottsdale Quarter. Besides the fact my hands feel crampy and my feet want to fall off by the end of the day i absolutely L O V E it! Anyone who has never checked it out.. look it up at thedrybar.com and make an appt to come and visit me! It's the cutest place ever and a girls dream..

Love

Michelle

Just a thought..

2011-07-24T18:13:00.000-07:00

My dad and me went to go visit some of my nurses at Scottsdale Shea it was definitely a good experience! They were so glad I came to see them and they could see me healthy walking and happy..It was a little difficult to go on the 3rd floor and even look into the rooms brought back some painful memories but it is also such a good reminder.. I take health for granted everyday! Just 6 months ago i could hardly walk without someone holding me up it's crazy how fast times goes by. I remember sitting in chemo and just wanting to be able to feel healthy and actually enjoy waking up in the morning..It puts life into prospective and what we truly need to be happy verses what we THINK we need to be happy.

Love

Michelle

Prayer Works

2011-05-18T23:18:00.000-07:00

Friday will be my F I N A L surgery!! I can hardly believe it!! I am so nervous/excited. So please keep me in your prayers! This will be my last recovery then I will hopefully be getting back to daily activities.. never taking a day for granted. Honestly I have tried to focus on something positive everyday even if its something so simple be thankful and positive I promise it makes the world of a difference. Enjoy this life, it's the only one you have! (:

Tonight I was able to go visit a group for kids that have been praying for me since day 1 at a church in mesa. It was honestly the sweetest experience. They were sooo excited i came to visit! The little girls could hardly sit still in their seats. I am seriously so blessed to have so many people praying for me!! I wish i could meet them all!

With Love,

Michelle

No More Wig!

2011-05-16T10:49:00.000-07:00

it's amazing to me how gorgeous she even looks without her wig!

queen elizabeth who? she can even rock it without a wig!

love,

nicole

joe's jeans bidding

2011-05-15T15:55:00.001-07:00

kensley rowland was nice enough to donated these jeans for michelle!

they are size 28 (6/8), from nordstrom, boyfriend fit, and super cute!

the bidding will start at $30 and please go up in price by at least $2!

leave a comment for a bid! bidding ends May 31st!

love,

nicole

So much to be thankful for

2011-05-05T12:46:00.000-07:00

It is so completely amazing to me how many people are still constantly praying and checking up on me it is so comforting! I am SLOWLY coming to the end of this all its been a crazy journey. Even though I am bald, underweight and have a foot long scar down the middle of my stomach.. I still sounds so strange to say I have had cancer. As hard as this has been I would not change it for the world. I have learned so many things its unreal. Attitude is truly everything i am not a firm believer in that! You can't change the things that come your way so change the way you feel about them.. I am so so so so thankful for my family!! wow i would literally be lost without them.. my sister taking me to chemo and bloodwork everyday, my parents staying in the hospital with me EVERY night because it was more comfortable with one of them around.. I am truly blessed. This hit me when I was at my doctor appt on Tuesday and one of my chemo nurses mentioned what an amazing family we are.. and it's the truth my parents did whatever they could to make the situation comfortable for me. My dad would go to the moon and back for me! My nurses were also a HUGE part of the journey that i am glad i experienced.. when i was just at Thompson Peak over Easter they all would come in my room just to say hi and see how I was doing. Even the girl in the cafeteria recognized me and told me i looked great. Its so amazing how it truly is the little things that make the difference.. and where would i be without my friends especially nic jess and julie for starting my blog to keep everyone updated! I still remember the night jess showed me my blog & my christmas support box. I have never cried over a gift so much in my life.. it was the most thoughtful gift in the world just what i needed! I still re read all the letters and cards on the days i start to doubt myself! i CAN do this!! (: Lastlyy BUT definitely NOT least. I am soo thankful for my faith in Christ. I can't imagine going through this without him.. I was just telling my dad the other night it would have been a lonely fight without him. He gave me hope and knowing that God will never put you through something you can't handle!! I can testify of that now. Prayer works wonders it's so true and the Bible really does apply to everyday life. I love reading it now it makes life so much more simple!

This post is probably all over the place!! This is my very first post! so sorry if it was just a bunch of mush but i hope everyone understands how much it means to me that you care and what a difference it has made..I really hope i can make someone feel as special as i have felt. Truly Blessed!

I hope everyone has a WONDERFUL day!!

xoxo

Michelle

shine interview

2011-04-28T08:30:00.000-07:00

yesterday michelle did an interview about the shine project. and i had the chance to tag along!

they did such an amazing job and i cannot believe all the amazing things shine is doing!

can you believe this girl just had cancer?

you can read more about the experience here and here.

love,

nicole

Words From Michelle

2011-04-08T10:15:00.000-07:00

I e-mailed Michelle yesterday to give me an update on how she is feeling and this is what she sent back:

well recovery is definitely the most trying part so far.. maybe because this is the most "with it" i have been since i was told i had cancer.. I try to stay positive everyday but I basically feel like i can never get enough sleep and i eat like a bird its frustrating! i love food but im just either never hungry or nauseated. The Dr. said these are all common signs of withdrawls from pain medicine! So luckily its nothing too bad but he isnt too concerned with getting me off pain medication completely yet because i still have one more surgery left in about a month. OK that was all so negative! The cancer is still in REMISSION!! (: and i am completely D O N E with chemo and these terrible neupogen shots that hurt soooo bad i know sounds pathetic but they were the worst i always hoped my mom would forget to give them to me.. she didnt!

Everyday i feel a little more like myself.. still no hair.. but the dr said about 6 weeks it will be coming back. until them i rock my wig! seriously after seeing how many people supported,wrote me,prayed, and everything else that was given to me.. i am already so excited to give back! i look up different organizations for ovarian cancer daily.. My dad has been a huge "coach" i like to say to me.. he has helped me turn this into a positive experience and that i can do things to help people going through similar situations i hope one day i can make someone feel as special as i have felt through this whole trial.. its truly been a blessing in disguise!

the fact that she is in remission is amazing but still keep her in your thoughts and prayers.

love, nicole

Angels Among Us...

2011-03-27T15:17:00.000-07:00

Ok, so if you have ever heard this old song from Alabama called "Angels Among Us", you are either feeling the warm fuzzys or rolling your eyes in disgust. Yes, it is super cheesy, I will admit that. My mom used to play it in the car and get all teary eyed after the first verse. After a few life changing experiences I now understand why it touched her so much. It's one of those story-telling songs about a little boy getting lost in the woods and a stranger lead him home. As he grows up he realizes the everyday people that were angels in his life during his hardest times. Its so incredible to see how true that is!

"They wear so many faces, show up in the strangest places

And grace us with their mercy in our time of need"

On Valentines Day this year Michelle was blessed again with the most perfect gift.

A beautiful real human hair wig that is SO her! A wonderful family in California, The Gomez's, sent her this wig to brighten her day and make her feel beautiful. It was so amazing that the wig is exactly what Michelle would have picked if she had chosen it herself! She called me the day that she got it so excited and feeling so blessed. That feeling is all that any one of us could want for Michelle.

Tracylyn and Nathan Gomez, thank you so much for what you did for Michelle. She feels so blessed and so loved during her time of need. I wanted to give you a very personal thank you from her friends and family because it is the most special feeling seeing our Michelle fight her cancer while still feeling so beautiful and loved. What a miracle you are! Thank you so much for spreading your brightness all the way to Arizona.

I believe there are angels among us.

The Shine Project: Part II

2011-03-23T08:29:00.001-07:00

Remember super sassy Ashley from The Shine Project? Michelle let me know she was in the newspaper a couple days ago! You can go check it out here. To read more about what she does and how it all got started! Such an amazing story.

love,

Nicole

Girls Girls! And sure even the boys

2011-03-03T19:56:00.000-08:00

A former coworker of Michelle's, Stephanie Armenta, contacted me with a fabulous idea!

The Girls at The Edge salon in Gilbert, Arizona

are donating 40% from all haircuts every Tuesday

through April 15th towards Michelle

to show her their support and love for her and what she is going through.

Soooo...if you were thinking of getting a new spring cut or just a touch up,

now is the time!

Thanks girls at The Edge Salon!

Salon number: 480-471-8544

Salon location: 1040 South Gilbert Road

Gilbert, Arizona 85296

love, jess

Purse for the Cure

2011-02-28T11:09:00.000-08:00

The amazing Lindsay from Scenic Glory is having a raffle of REAL Coach purses.

Eat ticket is purchased at $5.

All raffle tickets are donated to Michelle.

Get more details here.

Hurry quick! The raffle ends Monday!

Love, Nicole

Good News/Bad News

2011-02-23T09:24:00.000-08:00

Michelle is back in the hospital :( the chemo made her dehydrates and she had a seizure.

BUT

SHE IS IN REMISSION

if you ask me the good FAR out weighs the bad! remember to keep Michelle in your prayers!

love, nicole

I'm Gonna Let it Shine

2011-02-17T19:02:00.000-08:00

Well hello fabulous readers!

I'm Ashley from The Shine Project.

Just so we're a little more aquainted...here I am...

I wanted to share a little seceret with out about how I get my daily inspiration.

Not just inspiration about fashion,

but in life, and with helping the people around me.

At the beginning of the year, I chose a word that I wanted to motivate me.

The word was SHINE.

To me, the word SHINE emulates brightness, happiness,

and it means excelling in something.

I decided that now is the time to achieve my goals (I want to be an author).

Not only do we shine when we put down our excuses and go after hard things,

but also when we help others!

I started The Shine Project by making a necklace for a widow whom I never met,

and watched her light up as I gave it to her.

I now sell these necklaces to remind us all to shine each day.

Every week, I post a challenge for us to accomplish that will let us see

just how much good we can accomplish in the world.

Here's your challenge:

Bid on this wonderful SHINE necklace, for 100% of the proceeds to go to Michelle's Chemo Treatments.

Bids begin at $10. Just leave a comment for the amount you are willing to donate! The bid closes next Friday at midnight!

Now that's something worth bidding on.

Go Ahead,

Let the World See you SHINE.

I look forward to hearing from you on my blog!!!

xoxoxoxox,

Ashley

________________________________________________________

auction is closed. Jim and Kensley won at $75.00. thanks for all those who auctioned we appreciate everyones love!

Jars of Love

2011-02-16T21:09:00.000-08:00

Check out Jars of Love. Jacin is raising money for Michelle by selling jam.

We are so thankful for Jacin and reaching out in Michelle's time of need.

love, nicole

Valentine's Day Love

2011-02-14T12:01:00.000-08:00

michelle will always have a special valentines. nic, jess, jules, and THE BEATLES!

super jealous. happy valentines day! we love you!

love,

nic, jessica, and julianna

me too!

2011-02-12T08:27:00.001-08:00

today i was looking at the blog and i thought to myself, "what the crap where is the picture of me and michelle from the shower?" then i was like oh yeah... i took it not julianna. haha here it is.

i still cant get over the fact how cute she is!

love, nicole

2011-01-31T12:31:00.000-08:00

the chemo party was a success

michelle was showered with sweet friends and gifts
thank you to who was able to come

we were just so glad she came and stuck it out for the hour

sweet girl, we love you michelle

and thank you andrea and maggie for bringing her and coming!

michelle for the next [2] weeks will be doing just ONE day of CHEMO!

hallelujah

until then we hope her immune system picks up just a little bit for her

she is just so tired all the time especially because she just finished the long brutal week of chemo of it being 5 days out of the week and almost 6 hours long sessions, yeah. she is amazing.. tell me about it!

if you would like to give anything to michelle and just wasn't able to make it to the party let us know! thank you for all of your kind words, it means a lot to michelle.

and don't forget you can STILL write her little letters/emails, it means the world to her hearing positive feedback from people, spread the word.

love you Michelle!

xox

jules.

2011-01-28T13:40:00.000-08:00

just putting this cute picture up so you all can see how cute michelle is with her beanie. her hair is falling out.. the chemotherapy is kicking in. it makes her very tired but the doctors/nurses have given her anti nauseating medicine, so that helps her. she isn't eating much. she hates water. loves sprite and propel. oh and you can't forget the chicken nuggets and outbacks little steak and potatoes :) we love our michelle! we are having the chemo party for her tomorrow and will put up pictures of that! and nicole and jess put down some ideas for what to get her! hope to see you all there!

nicole, jessica, michelle, jules

xox

jules.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

2011-01-27T20:03:00.000-08:00

happy birthday to the princess..

MICHELLE!

we love you.

best picture ever. taken tonight.

we are so happy jessica came to town

love you.

xox.

jules

Gift Ideas

2011-01-26T16:02:00.000-08:00

so a lot of people have been asking what to give Michelle. here is the list Jessica came up with

her fav color is anything bright, tye dye,

she loves glitter

anything flashy

hannah montanna

lip gloss

beachy things, nail polish, chessy little girl toys,

barbies, pjs for victorias secret are her fav (espiecally in bright colors)

she loves new clothes for her tiny maltipoo dog

like really if people bought things with a 7 year old girl in mind

and thought BRIGHT SPRARKLY GIRLY FABULOUS that would be so her

love, nicole

Comfy Chemo Shower

2011-01-24T18:08:00.001-08:00

While Michelle is going through chemo she will need lots of things to make her time easier. We are having a "Comfy Chemo Shower" to shower her with comfy gifts. Some things she needs are pajama's, slippers, head scarfs, hats, and anything else she would find comfy! This is a great time to come visit with Michelle and show her your love.

For those who don't know Michelle's birthday is on January 27th. This is not her birthday party but we will sing to her and have some cake!

We do not want Michelle any more tired then she needs to be. The shower is only two hours, please do not be late!

If for any reason Michelle cannot make it we will still accept the comfy shower gifts at this time and take them to her at a later time. We will post on the event that the shower is cancelled as soon as we find out it is.

This is a friend invite friend event. If you know someone who would want to come visit Michelle invite them! But please avoid inviting people like your brother's uncle's roomate's girlfriend. We know they love Michelle but feel they could show their love just as much through a letter :)

We will have snacks provided and anyone who would like to volunteer to bring something to eat that would be great!

Just e-mail me at imaynotbequeenelizabeth@gmail.com if you want an invite!

love, nicole

Short visit to home

2011-01-20T20:08:00.000-08:00

After Michelle left the hospital Tuesday she was still running a high fever.

She went back to the hospital for her chemo infusion and the doctor decided to readmit her

to Thompson Peak instead of letting her go back home.

Her kidney function is a little off but is improving today.

She has also developed Valley Fever, but it wont affect her chemo.

Michelle is trying to cut back on the pain meds so she is feeling more like herself.

Cross your fingers she will be able to go home tomorrow.

p.s the chemo is finally taking its toll on her hair.
no matter how much you prepare yourself for that,
that would be emotional for any girl.
make sure you send your love to our pretty girl

i miss her constantly

love,

jess

Victoria Beckham & daddy long legs spiders

2011-01-15T10:39:00.000-08:00

this post is courtesy of Andrea Long...

Michelle has been moved back to Scottsdale Healthcare Thompson Peak so that her doc can monitor her care more easily. She is doing much better since the surgery last Saturday. Almost all the swelling has gone down from her legs and most of the back pain has subsided.

Of course, not all is smooth.

A couple of days ago the oxygen saturationof her blood fell to below 90% and seemed to stay that way unless she had oxygen on. Yesterday they did a contrast CT scan and found that she had 3 blood clots in her lungs. Since she has had trouble with bleeding and her platelet count is down, giving her blood thinners to dissolve the clot was not an option. So, they decided to put a filter in one of her veins. It looks almost like a little daddy long legs spider.

It is designed to catch any parts of the clots that might dislodge and keep them from getting to her brain or heart where they could cause lots of damage. Eventually the clots will disssolve, but the filter will protect her until they do. It is permanent and will not be removed. It was a pretty simple procedure, but for Michelle, it just felt like one more obstacle to her getting well.

Her blood counts are down, so she will stay in the hospital until her white, red, and platelet counts are up to a safe level. Not sure when that will be. She is back eating an unrestricted diet, although she still does not have much of an appetite and only eats a few bites from each meal. She is up and walking around a few times a day, but because her red count is low, she tires very quickly. The doctor would like her to try and get the count raised on her own, but if that doesn't happen, she will get another transfusion.

Today is day 16 of this hospital stay. Hopefully she will be able to go home soon. She gets discouraged pretty easily. Thank you again to all you girls for your thoughtfulness and encouragement. As soon as Michelle is able we are going to hit up the wig stores. I'm not sure when her hair will start falling out - probably within the next week or so. I know I'm not looking forward to that - just another thing for her to have to deal with.

I attached some pictures from her haircut. She was really groggy that day, but Kristina did such a nice job on it. It is really cute when it's all styled.

looks almost like Victoria Beckham right?!

Love, Andrea (Michelle's mom)

Dear Everyone,

2011-01-13T14:42:00.000-08:00

It's awfully hard to track you all down

so i figured a post would get to you all the same.

Michelle's sister Maggie got her a digital photo frame for her hospital room.

If you could please email her pictures that would be great!

Maggie.m.long@gmail.com

Examples of the perfect picture(s) would include.....

a picture of you and Michelle together

a picture of you and your family to let her know you are thinking of her

a picture of a fun memory

or anything that you think is appropriate and would make her smile:)

Thanks everyone!

xoxo

jess

P.S. don't make me contact you personally because I seriously will

Skinny Legs

2011-01-09T20:44:00.000-08:00

Just for a follow up on yesterdays post..

Michelle is off the ventilator tube

The doctor showed Michelle's family that, despite all the set-backs,

her AFP levels are continuing to drop.

Today they have dropped just above 100,

which tells us that the chemo is doing a fabulous job of killing the cancer.

Michelle is still a bit groggy but the fluid retention is decreasing.

Her mom told me her color is starting to look very good again,

so i imagine she is starting to look a bit like sleeping beauty in her hospital bed.

Thankfully, the intense back pain she has been having is gone as a result of the doctor removing addition tumor from her lower back area.

He let her know that she will soon have her "skinny legs" back.

I know Michelle, and sick or not, that made her very happy

Blogging from Utah...

2011-01-08T18:41:00.000-08:00

My life in Utah has begun...

and as slow as it is up here for the time being,

Michelle's condition is changing pretty rapidly.

She has already completed her first week of chemo.

Although I am not there to witness this myself,

Michelle's mom, Andrea, keeps me posted with texts so I don't feel too left out.

Her texts today informed me that after a Sigmoidoscopy the other day, they were able to see some additional cancer in the colon.

The doctor was afraid that the chemo would kill cells too fast and her bowel would perforate,

so he did a temporary diversion.

The surgery was today and Michelle will spend the night in ICU, and hopefully back on the floor tomorrow.

At least one more week at ScottsdaleShea hospital.

As far as her mood and spirits, she is pretty much under until at least tomorrow when they take the ventilator tube out.

The doctor has made it clear that he is still optimistic, but so many complications are arising daily and Michelle is having a very tough time.

This is not the time to forget her in your thoughts and prayers.

Although you might not hear a response from Michelle, any words of love would make her and her family feel comforted.

I love all of you who supporting my best friend while I physically can't. You are doing an amazing job and I am so grateful for you.

Please don't stop!

love,

jessica

visit to the queen!

2011-01-05T22:05:00.000-08:00

its jules

its 10:50pm.

i just got home from visiting Michelle at the hospital.

she has switched hospitals to Scottsdale Shea Hospital.

i am pretty thankful i got to see her.

tonight was a real good reality check for me.

i had not seen Michelle since this whole diagnosis which has been a couple weeks now.

just because of work, her surgeries, recovery time, i got sick, being pregnant and the joys from that.. etc..

anyway so Michelle is in good spirits.

she went back into the hospital on Sunday because her mom had a concern because she wasn't eating and she was in lots of pain.. she would want her pain meds after 2 hours when they should last 4-5 hours at a time.. after several discussions with her mom and the doctor he decided to readmit her back to Scottsdale Thompson Peak Healthcare Hospital.. and last night was transferred over to Shea for several reasons.

Michelle can't eat, she just can't and she is technically not allowed to and can just have clear liquids.. they are injecting through the IV the nutrients that her body does need.. and her body decided to retain that, so after several days they noticed she was swelling, her body was retaining the water and nutrients, and in result was having problems with her kidneys and with the swelling in her abdomen that they had to drain 3 quarts of fluid from her abdominal area and her legs have also swelled up too(they said that it will go down eventually..) and about her kidneys.. the doctor got worried and Michelle went into surgery and had stents put in, and now her kidneys are back and activating properly so far.. i wish i could explain just the problems that have been happening to our Michelle.. but it is just one after another. She had to start chemotherapy and tonight was her third night, she is so groggy and out of it already she doesn't really "feel" the results of the chemo, because she is wiped out already. they have also given her an epidural to lay off so many pain meds and that seems to be helping her pain. my husband and i had a nice long talk with her mom.. not even needing to tell you the rest of the endless issues, all i can say is please continue to pray for Michelle, her body will fight this. she is just not herself, obviously, her body has been put through the ringer.. it breaks our hearts.. there are several other things that have gone wrong as a result of the cancer but they are keeping a close eye on the tumor on her colon and the cancer in general. the doctor is optimistic of what the chemotherapy will do to the cancer, it's just a matter of her body being able to "keep up" with everything that is going on... she also got her hair cut from a sweet girl named Kristen from her previous salon that Michelle worked at! it is the Victoria Beckham bob! Michelles mom will be sending pictures soon! They are just exhausted, but still made us laugh and smile and the hospital today! they are very positive! all of the family. so please continue to pray for the family and Michelle of course and even the for the doctors that are attending her, that they will know what to do in the best interest for Michelle and her health. thank you for all the support, i love seeing the stats go up and up day by day and the followers just increasing! you are all so great. i know Michelle and her family appreciate support.

xox

jules.

ps. the plan is to go wig shopping next week, depending on the health and condition of Michelle, any donations will help.

back in the hospital

2010-12-29T18:39:00.001-08:00

in case you haven't heard the news michelle is back in the hospital today.

she has been having a hard time eating, her back is hurting, and has lost 15 pounds.

they found a tumor wrapped around her colon.

the plans are for her to stay there until she starts chemo and keep her on a liquid diet.

the chemo should help keep the tumor down.

the chemo was originally going to start january 3rd but may start sooner.

we will keep you updated.

keep praying.

love, nicole

2010-12-27T20:43:00.000-08:00

waiting at the doctors to get her chemo port in...

UPDATE

2010-12-27T14:31:00.000-08:00

Michelle had her chemo portal put in this morning...

GOOD NEWS!

doctor said her AFP level continues to drop.

She was at 1300 presurgery,

950 post surgery

and 500 today

non-medical translation:

SO FAR MICHELLE'S CANCER ISN'T GROWING BACK!!!

thanks for the prayers

xxoo,

jess

love for michelle.

2010-12-27T10:40:00.000-08:00

i posted the exact same post on December 23rd from this blog on my blog today.

i was amazed that there is already so many people who are showing there love and support for michelle, some of these people she has never even met.

you can see what they have said here.

love, nicole

why?

2010-12-27T07:43:00.000-08:00

there are a lot of people who are not aware of what cancer is and what different "terms" mean

if you are one of them, be thankful, there is a reason you are unaware.

when we give updates on the blog we want you to know what they mean as far as what the doctor says. unfortunately, i know a lot about cancer because my mom battled it from October 2000-May 2006. but thankfully i will be of help now because of what i do know.

and no i do not think i am a doctor. :)

Michelle's cancer type is Ovarian. Who would think it would develop in such a YOUNG woman's body!? You just don't think about these types of things. You can be diagnosed at a very young age, Michelle's doctor diagnosed a young girl at the age of 14. Before Michelle went to the doctor she was experiencing a lot of pain in her abdomen, then she started noticing a "pooch" and Jessica, being the dear sweet best friend that she is just told Michelle to stop drinking Diet Dr. Pepper, haha, this just shows their personality all the way, i love it. Neither of them, obviously, not knowing the extent of what was really going on.. When Michelle went to the doctor they did not suspect it was ovarian cancer. They first asked her if she was PREGNANT!? heck no, no chance. Then possibly a hernia? it wasn't that either. And shockingly enough it was stage 3 ovarian cancer that had started and developed in only 8 short weeks.. now, what does stage three cancer mean? there are 4 stages of cancer. technically the stages have either A, B, or C within the stages. now this shows you how intense her cancer is..

stage 3 means that the cancer involves one or both ovaries and one or both of the following are present: cancer has spread beyond the pelvis to the lining of the abdomen; cancer has spread to lymph nodes.

Now for Michelle's case, it has not spread down but it did go into her lymph nodes and he was able to save one ovary.

The cancer could always metastasize, which means spread. Stage 3 cancer is an active stage of the cancer cells, that chemotherapy can kill off. and it needs to kill every cancer cell to work. Michelle will be doing chemotherapy.

Chemotherapy works by killing fast-growing cancer cells. Unfortunately, chemotherapy drugs can't always tell the difference between cancer cells and fast-growing healthy cells, including red and white blood cells. As a result, it makes you very weak, because your body needs to start back at square one to fight to keep up your energy level and beat out the cancer cells.. People who experience chemo are very exhausted because of how much the body is fighting to keep your fighting cells. Chemotherapy is not a comfortable thing. My mom told me it feels like you just have the flu 57390850823. Your body just aches... Michelle will be doing a cycle of chemotherapy which includes 5 days of it one week, then 2 days the next week, then 5 days, then 2, and so on for 9 weeks. after this they will keep very close tabs on her, for quite some time. checking her blood count and doing scans to see the progress of what the chemotherapy has done, and hopefully it does it's job properly.

Us girls are doing this blog, to show Michelle how much love and support she truly does have. One of Michelle's friends made a support box for her to show Michelle this, many people have already shown so generously the support that Michelle and her family does have.

On the right of our page is a way to donate through PayPal, which is a super safe way to donate. Since Michelle will be loosing her hair, she is going to rock a wig, and look fabulous in it! We would like to help her buy a wig so she feels beautiful! And we know she will be beautiful either way! Donating would be fantastic!

There is also a tab at the top of the page that shows how you can write a letter to Michelle! If you know her or not, the love will mean the world to her!

WE LOVE YOU MICHELLE.
This blog is for showing awareness that this can happen to ANYBODY, and being so young, and to show support and love to our best friend

love,
jules.

my point of view.

2010-12-26T07:15:00.000-08:00

you all have probably read the post from Nicole and Jessica

so now it is MY turn.

this is quite difficult for me to do..

michelle is amazing.

i remember the first time i met her i was jealous of how skinny she was (and still is) and she was and still is so cute. i am mega lame i know, don't judge me i was in like... summer going into 10th grade.. this girl has been one of my close friends since. we always pick up from where we left off. i love our long talks in her truck and getting caught up on the latest news and gossip, and remembering back when she would drive me home from school and we would yell at little children, not mean things, just funny, and practically pee our pants laughing so hard. i love this girl.

it's very hard for me to really have it sink it that Michelle is being faced with this trial. never in a million years would i have thought this would happen, but then again, who would.. michelle is a very strong girl, and very optimistic. i am so proud of her.

(i'm sorry Michelle, this picture is perfect)

i will be posting more this week about the details with Michelle and what she will be doing for treatment and the details with treatment.

we are thankful for the support that Michelle and her family have been given.

i love you Michelle

you're going to rock this wig

love,

jules

(God blessed me with really cute friends)

(this is the original four of us)

I've heard it said..

2010-12-25T17:18:00.000-08:00

that people come into our lives for a reason...

bringing something we must learn.

And we are led to those who help us most to grow,

if we let them.

And we help them in return.

michelle, remember this..

extraordinary things only happy to extraordinary people.

and just like our favorite song:

"There's no fight we cannot win.

Just you and I

defying gravity

With you and I

defying gravity".

TO EVERYONE: Being that in two days I will be a Utah resident and therefore cannot run my bff sodas at her beck and call, cannot bring her moms mashed potatoes,

or watch sappy movies on a mutual bad night and have a pity party,

PLEASE step in and take my place for the time being.

MICHELLE: i CAN text you back within one second. i can call you everyday. i can talk to you any bad night and have a pity party over the phone. i can send you care packages. we can ichat. and thanks to your parents i CAN be with you on your birthday (January 27th everyone). see...we still have all the important things about bffs going for us.

love, jessica

P.S.

2010-12-25T06:29:00.000-08:00

I'm sorry this was too good not to post...

After the doctor left the room after breaking the traumatizing news of the chemo,

Michelle's first words, through tears and sniffling nose were...

"I really don't like him."

and shortly after...

"Well at least I can be a blonde again."

love,
jessica

i may not be queen elizabeth.

2010-12-23T16:21:00.000-08:00

as long as i can remember my good friend michelle has been the happiest person ever. some of my greatest times with michelle are dancing to hannah montana and screaming it at the top of our lungs, driving around in her truck and yelling at jr. high kids (things like "we think you are so hott"), putting straight bleach on her hair to make her blonder, and frequent trips to window shop at the pet store. she loves life and i honestly have never seen her down.

On Sunday, December 12, 2010 Michelle was diagnosed with a very rare ovarian cancer. Only being 20 and the cancer already being in stage 3 makes it even rarer. She has only had the cancer for about 8 weeks and it has already spread to her lymph nodes and lower abdomen. One ovary has already been removed as well as her appendix. Her doctor is confident his method of treatment will be successful. She will have to go through aggressive chemo beginning January this year. It will consist of 5 days a week then 2 days a week repeating for 9 weeks. She will loose her hair by the end of January.

Michelle has never been the "woe is me" type and doesn't really like for the focus to be on her. so me, amy, jessica, and julianna have taken the reigns on this project. last week we had a secret meeting, without michelle knowing, and have created her a blog.

the initial purpose is to raise her money for a wig. jessica was in the hospital at the time when the doctor was telling michelle all that would be happening jessica said the only time michelle cried was when the doctor informed her she would be loosing her hair. we have already earned money and gave michelle a great christmas basket but with the next 9 weeks of chemo we know her fight has only begun.

i love you michelle, stay strong!

love, nicole